The Story Behind "The Promise" by When in Rome

 80s, Flashback Fridays, Music, Pop Culture, Retro, Synth-Pop, Video  2 Responses »
Jan 272012
 

When in Rome released “The Promise” in 1987, and only man­aged to chart as high as #58 in their native Eng­land.  The song peaked at #11 on the U.S. Bill­board Hot 100 and topped the U.S. Top Dance Club Play Chart.

Clive Far­ring­ton was orig­i­nally in a Manchester-based band called Beau Leisure and recruited Michael Flo­re­ale and Andy O’Connell to replace two mem­bers who had departed.  They even­tu­ally added beat poet Andrew Mann to the group and O’Connell left.  The trio began to record demos, some­times includ­ing Mann’s friend Corinne Drew­ery (who even­tu­ally found suc­cess as the leader singer for Swing Out Sis­ter).  They also recruited U.S. per­cus­sion­ist Rob Juarez.  When in Rome signed a record­ing deal with 10 Records, a sub­sidiary of Vir­gin UK and released a 12″ single.

The song became pop­u­lar on the club scene, so Vir­gin ordered an album.  “The Promise” was remixed and issued again as a proper sin­gle, with 7″ and cas­sette sin­gle for­mats, too.  The self-titled album peaked at #88 on the Bill­board 200, but the fol­low up sin­gles, “Heaven Knows,” “Every­thing,” and “Sight of Your Tears,” failed to achieve the suc­cess of “The Promise.”  Clive and Andrew struck out on their own in 1993.

“The Promise was fea­tured in the end cred­its of the 2004 motion pic­ture Napoleon Dyna­mite.

Flo­re­ale trade­marked the  name When in Rome formed a new lineup in 2006, includ­ing Rob Juarez.  The new When in Rome toured the U.S. and South Amer­ica with other groups that were pop­u­lar in the 80s.  A new album has been recorded and is planned for release soon.  Juarez left the group after he dis­cov­ered that Far­ring­ton and Mann had not left the music busi­ness, as Flo­re­ale had told him, and is now work­ing with Far­ring­ton and Mann again.

Far­ring­ton and Mann are cur­rently  in dis­pute with Flo­re­ale over the use of the name When in Rome when tour­ing the U.S.  In the mean­time, they both tour under the names When in Rome UK and When in Rome US.

Far­ring­ton has an 11-year-old daugh­ter, and Mann acts and works as a cast­ing direc­tor in Lon­don.  Juarez now lives in Dal­las, Texas and com­poses music for tele­vi­sion shows.  Flo­re­ale now lives in Dal­las, Texas where he com­poses music for film and television.

Ver­sions
The Promise [7″ Ver­sion] 3’44
The Promise [O.N. Mix/The Ollie North Mix] 6’30
The Promise [Col­i­seum Club Mix] 6’28

Music Video

The music video is set in a coun­try house in the Eng­lish coun­try­side.  A bored model roams the grounds as the band per­form the song.  Mann does a mean Michael (INXS) Hutchence impression.

Mem­o­ries
I remem­ber this song explod­ing on Top 40 radio in Dallas/Fort Worth in the Fall of 1988.  I bought the song on cas­sette sin­gle and felt very cut­ting edge, much like when I recently bought my iPhone.  Every­one I knew, from club kids to head­bangers, loved this song.  And then When in Rome dis­ap­peared. It’s always inter­est­ing to play this song in a room of peo­ple in their 40s and watch them nos­tal­gia out.

What are your mem­o­ries of “The Promise” by When in Rome?

 Posted by Jef at 7:00 am  Tagged with: , , , , , ,

Top Ten Clues That Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

 Animals, Crime, Humor, Parody, Pop Culture, Top Ten Thursdays  1 Response »
Jan 262012
 

Felines are mys­te­ri­ous and aloof crea­tures. As much as we try to attribute human feel­ings about us to them, they often seem as if they could care less if we’re there or not, albeit feed­ing time, they need to go out­side, or they want to play. Some­times, para­noia creeps in, and we won­der if they may even­tu­ally grow tired of us for good and take mat­ters into their own paws. Here are ten tips to help you know if your cat is plot­ting to kill you.

01. Your cat offers to change your brakes on your car for you.

02. Your cat sur­prises you with a gift of a bright red shirt. (Then you find an invoice where she has ordered a live bull to be deliv­ered to your home.)

03. Your cat leaves a dead mouse, mar­i­nated in olive oil, on the stairs in the mid­dle of the night.

04. You hap­pen upon your cat shar­ing a pic­ture of you with a guido with a vio­lin case in a sketchy Ital­ian restaurant.

05. You can’t find the antifreeze, but you dis­cover that, for the first time, your cat has made a Thai iced tea–just for you. How sweet it is …

06. You walk in on your cat gassing up a chain­saw while wear­ing a hockey mask.

07.Your cat asks you for a gun to take care of the–you know–“mouse prob­lem.” Curi­ously, you do not have a mouse problem.

08. You wake up in the mid­dle of the night and sur­prise your cat, who is sit­ting on your chest with a pil­low held over his head.

09. As you walk through the park­ing gar­gage to your car, you spy your cat wait­ing for you behind the steer­ing wheel of a steamroller–with the engine running.

10.You find your cat’s “to do” list with “86 the big doo­fus” wedged between “tongue bath” and “after­noon nap.”

 Posted by Jef at 7:00 am  Tagged with: , , , , ,

Word Up Wednesday: Apointcalypse

 Dictionary, Humor, Parody, Pop Culture, Word Up Wednesdays  No Responses »
Jan 252012
 

Apoint­ca­lypse (noun) \uh-point-kuh-lips\ — The real­iza­tion that one has no more daily Weight Watch­ers points left for the day and there are still sev­eral meals remain­ing until bedtime.

Exam­ple:  Tonya choked on her car­rot stick when she saw the signs of the apoint­ca­lypse:  She had acci­den­tally used all of her remain­ing Weight Watch­ers points for the day dur­ing lunch and could only eat fruits and veg­eta­bles until she went to bed.

Can you use apoint­ca­lypse in a sentence?


 Posted by Jef at 7:00 am  Tagged with: , , , ,

Deli Conquers Smalltown Homophobia with a Fresh Take on an Old Sandwich

 Food, Humor, Parody, Pop Culture, Social Issues, Tall Tale Tuesdays  3 Responses »
Jan 242012
 

The good peo­ple of Kissim­i­coochee, Geor­gia were wary when a gay cou­ple moved to town and opened up an upscale sand­wich shop on the town square called Between-the-Bunz.

““Brady and I were dri­ving down to St. Simon’s Island to meet up with our power les­bian friends, and we stopped at this lit­tle antique store, because I was redo­ing our guest bed­room in total TGI Friday’s shabby chic,” said Trey Win­ston, 27, a for­mer inte­rior designer and co-owner of Between-the-Bunz.  “Come to find out, though, the antique store was actu­ally the Cham­ber of Commerce.”

““How­ever, Trey and I were so charmed by Kissim­i­coochee that we decided to aban­don the hus­tle and bus­tle of Atlanta and set­tle down in a small town to enjoy the quiet life,” said Brady Jensen, 29, a for­mer per­sonal trainer, Play­girl cen­ter­fold, and co-owner of Between-the-Bunz.

Burned out on inte­rior design and per­sonal fit­ness, the golden cou­ple had no idea what their next career would be.  “We asked our­selves if we could have any­thing, what would we want the most,” Win­ston said.  The boys looked at each other, a twin­kle in their eyes, before they said in uni­son, “Bread!”

““Since we’re a tired, ol’ mar­ried cou­ple–” Jensen began.

““We’ve been together for six months,” Win­ston piped in.

““We fig­ured it was okay to let our­selves go a bit,” said Jensen.  “So we down­graded from eight-pack abs to just a six-pack.”

The boys used Winston’s trust fund and Jensen’s roy­al­ties from a nude work­out video to buy the for­mer Buster’s Big Beef Steak­house build­ing, which went out of busi­ness after that unfor­tu­nate Occupy the Salad Bar protest by those veg­e­tar­i­ans from the nearby women’s col­lege.  The boys ren­o­vated the down­stairs into an upscale deli and turned the upstairs into a cozy love nest for two.

The menu is small and sim­ple, yet shows off the boys’ com­mit­ment to deli­cious food and clever sense of humor:

  • Is-That-a-Bratwurst-in-Your-Pocket-or-Are-You-Just-Happy-to-See-Me (Bratwurst in a whole-wheat hot dog bun)
  • Chick­en­hawk Delight (Chicken salad on on multi­grain bread)
  • Sis­ter Sapho’s Tofu Temp­ta­tion (Tofu and veg­gie wrap on flat bread)
  • Humpa-Rumpa-Roast-of-Love (Roast beef & ched­dar on mar­ble rye bread)
  • GBLT (Bacon, let­tuce & tomato on toasted sour­dough with Fab­u­losa sauce)

The cit­i­zens of Kissim­i­coochee were ini­tially sus­pi­cious of any­thing that wasn’t deep-fried in ani­mal fat.

““I thought to myself, ‘Self, is this like tak­ing Midol for a headache?’” said Bubba T. White­house, 34, a mechanic down at the Wrench-U-Right.  “I was scared that if I ate their food it would turn me gay!”

““The other ladies and I in the Bap­tist Bel­ters, our all-female gospel choir, were march­ing down to their Sand­wich Shop of Sodom with two Mal­ibu Ken dolls to hang in effigy,” said Mar­i­anne Snow, 29+, home­maker and Pres­i­dent of the Kissim­i­coochee Bap­tist Church Ladies’ Union.  “We were thwarted, how­ever, when the one with­out a lick of body hair offered us a sam­ple of their BLT sand­wich.  Under nor­mal cir­cum­stances, I wouldn’t have eaten it, but Betty Jo Miller from KKIS was there with her her news crew, so I took a lit­tle bite.  Oh my heav­ens, it was divine!”

““The secret is in our spe­cial sauce,” Win­ston said.  “Fabulosa!”

“I asked them to share the recipe with me, but they won’t tell,” said Kitty Stonewall, owner of the Curl Up & Dye Salon/Saloon.  “I even told them I’d give free high­lights and high­balls for a year, but they still turned me down.”

““I don’t really want to know what’s in their spe­cial sauce,” said White­house.  “But I fig­ure if a homo­sex­ual can make a tasty sand­wich, he must be good people.”

““It sad­dens me that two beau­ti­ful men who can make such a deli­cious sand­wich are going to burn in hell,” said Snow.  “But until then, I’m going to enjoy as many GBLT’s as I can.”

““The response has really been beyond our expec­ta­tions,” said Jensen.  “I like to think that we’re chang­ing Kissim­i­coochee one sand­wich at a time.”

““That’s true,” said Win­ston.  “When the Klu Klux Klan called and asked us–two gay boys–to cater their next meet­ing, I knew we were mak­ing a difference.”

““The GBLT’s may be turn­ing me gay, though,” said White­house.  “The other day when I was at Wal-mart, I almost bought a Lady Gaga CD.  It scares me, but I’m addicted to that Fab­u­losa sauce.”

 Posted by Jef at 7:00 am  Tagged with: , , , , ,

Southern Litmus Test for Pod People

 Aliens, Conspiracy Theories, Essays, Food, Holidays, Humor, Memory Mondays, Pop Culture, Science Fiction, So So Southern  1 Response »
Jan 232012
 

I’ve often felt that if aliens landed in the South and tried to pass them off as South­ern­ers, a good way to spot them would be to send them into BBQ joint to order a slice of pecan pie.

You see, you can always spot some­one who wasn’t born in the South by the way they pro­nounce the word pecan.  If you’ve grown up in the South, you say, pi-kahn, nat­u­rally.  If you’re from any­where else, you’ll typ­i­cally say pee-kan, which brings to mind some­one uri­nat­ing into an alu­minum cylinder.

So, in review, pi-kahn, makes one think of hol­i­day desserts, like pecan pie, fam­ily, the com­fort of home, and some­one whistling “Dixie.”  Pee-kan makes one envi­sion a father who refuses to stop the car for a child with a chal­lenged blad­der, Yan­kees who’ve come down south to take over, and Pod Peo­ple who are wait­ing for you to go to sleep so they can replace you with a soy-alternative clone.

Repeat after me: Pik-kahn–unless you’re a Pod Person.

 Posted by Jef at 7:00 am  Tagged with: , , , , , , , , ,

The Story Behind "Hold Me Now" by the Thompson Twins

 80s, Flashback Fridays, Music, New Wave, Pop Culture, Retro, Synth-Pop, Video  2 Responses »
Jan 202012
 

The Thomp­son Twins released “Hold Me Now” as their lead sin­gle from their fourth album, Into the Gap, on Novem­ber 11, 1983 in the U.K., fol­lowed by a North Amer­i­can release in Feb­ru­ary 1984. The song peaked at #4 in the U.K. and #3 in the U.S., as well as #1 on the U.S. Bill­board Hot Dance Club Play Chart. It was the Thomp­son Twins biggest hit in Amer­ica. The flip side of the sin­gle is an instru­men­tal ver­sion of “Hold Me Now,” enti­tled “Let Lov­ing Start.”

Tom Bai­ley, Joe Lee­way, and Alan­nah Cur­rie branched off from a big­ger ver­sion of the Thomp­son Twins after the unex­pected suc­cess of “In the Name of Love” on the U.S. dance charts, hon­ing their pre­vi­ously eclec­tic sound into more of a synth-pop/dance style that was pop­u­lar at the time. The inspi­ra­tion for the band’s name came from the bum­bling detec­tive duo, Thom­son and Thomp­son from the comic strip The Adven­tures of Tintin by Hergé.

“Hold Me Now” was a depar­ture from the dance-oriented sound that orig­i­nally brought the Thomp­son Twins suc­cess in Amer­ica, such “In the Name of Love,” “Lies,” and “Love on Your Side.” Accord­ing to Tom Bai­ley, “Hold Me Now” began with a strong idea and was writ­ten very quickly with pro­ducer Alex Sad­kin at Com­pass Point Stu­dios in the Bahamas.

Music jour­nal­ists weren’t impressed with “Hold Me Now” upon it’s released, but the music press has expressed a greater appre­ci­a­tion for the song over the years.

The Thomp­son Twins have stated their frus­tra­tion over the suc­cess of “Hold Me Now.” The band didn’t con­sider the song to be spe­cial, and they were unpre­pared for how their man­age­ment and record exec­u­tives nagged them to write “Hold Me Now 2.”

Ver­sions
Hold Me Now 4’44
Let Lov­ing Start 3’43
Hold Me Now [Extended Ver­sion] 9’54
Let Lov­ing Start [Extended Ver­sion] 9’09

Music Video
The music video presents the band mem­bers per­form­ing “Hold Me Now” in a stu­dio, danc­ing and play­ing var­i­ous instru­ments. The video begins with a blue back­ground, then tran­si­tions to red toward the end. Oddly, no one holds any­one in the video. There is absolutely no hug­ging going on in this video! Alan­nah Cur­rie does wear one of her trade­mark over­sized duck­bill hats, though.

Mem­o­ries
I had been a big fan of “Lies” when it was released in early 1983, but I was espe­cially taken with “Hold Me Now” when I first heard it on the radio. Per­haps it was because the the for­mer is upbeat and the later is down-tempo. I remem­ber the song being a big hit and ubiq­ui­tous on radio and tele­vi­sion. One aspect of the Thomp­son Twins’ music that I always enjoyed was their unusual choices of percussion.

Ten years later, I began col­lect­ing CDs by 80s artists and cre­at­ing my own com­pi­la­tion cas­settes. The first time I played my 1984 Mix, “Hold Me Now” cap­ti­vated me. The song had per­me­ated the back­ground of my teenage life so much that a plethora of feel­ings from that time of my life over­whelmed me. I’ve grown more fond of 80s bal­lads with age, and the sim­ple mes­sage of the lyrics car­ries more weight for me now, as well.

In 2008 Edsel Records released an expanded ver­sion of Into the Gap, with all the B-Sides from the sin­gles and remixes. I highly rec­om­mend it.

What are your mem­o­ries of “Hold Me Now” by the Thomp­son Twins?

 Posted by Jef at 7:00 am  Tagged with: , , , , , , ,

Top Ten Worst Pop-Up Books for Children

 Family, Humor, Kids, Parents, Parody, Pop Culture, Top Ten Thursdays  3 Responses »
Jan 192012
 

Over the past few years, pop-up books have become more pop­u­lar with both chil­dren and adults.  How­ever, one must exer­cise cau­tion when select­ing a pop-up book for small chil­dren.  One never knows how a young one will react to a paper cre­at­ing jump­ing from the pages and into their tiny faces, but here are a few pop-up books that are prob­a­bly best left alone:

01. The Pop-Up Book of Ser­ial Killers

02. Oh, the Places Your Par­ents Will Aban­don You

03. Back in the Stirups Again: Mommy Vis­its Her Gynecologist

04. Slaugh­ter­house Fun: Where Do Ham­burg­ers Come From?

05. Billy’s First (and Last) Satanic Mass

06. How Sweat Shop Sally Lost All of Her Fin­gers and Toes (But Pro­duced a Lovely and Inex­pen­sive Cot­ton Blouse)

07. Things That Swim Up the Drain and Lurk Under Your Bub­ble Bath Foam

08. Dr. Smiley’s Pop-Up Book of Big Nee­dles

09. Some Ani­mals Like to Eat Kids

10. Preschool Prison Bitch: Danny Goes to the Big House

 Posted by Jef at 7:00 am  Tagged with: , , , , , ,

Word Up Wednesday: Nipplish

 Dictionary, Humor, Parody, Pop Culture, Vocabulary, Word Up Wednesdays  1 Response »
Jan 182012
 

Nip­plish (adjec­tive) \nip-uh’l-ish\ – slang for chilly weather, refer­ring to the con­trac­tion of the nip­ple to reduce sur­face area in order to con­serve heat, which makes the  nip­ple appear more prominent.

Exam­ple: After check­ing the weather, Jo Jo decided that it was too nip­plish to wear a baby doll t-shirt to the frat party.

Can you use this word in a sentence?

 Posted by Jef at 7:00 am  Tagged with: , , , , ,

How About a Little Fire, Scarecrow?

 Humor, IPhone, Movies, News of the Weird, Pop Culture, Tall Tale Tuesdays  No Responses »
Jan 172012
 

As Tracey Miller stag­gered home from The Last Chance Tex­aco Bar & Restau­rant in Corn­ta­sia, Kansas last Sat­ur­day, she told author­i­ties that she was accosted by a scare­crow who demanded all her cash and insist­ing that she fon­dle his stuffing.

“I was scared to death,” said Miller, 23, a den­tal hygien­ist stu­dent at nearby Squat­ter Tech.  “But I knew I had to keep my wits about me, or some trucker who stops to uri­nate on the side of the high­way was going to find my decom­pos­ing body in a ditch.”

Miller stated that she told the scare­crow that she was reach­ing into her purse for her cash and debit card, but instead pulled out her iPhone and pro­ceeded to use her vir­tual lighter app as a weapon.  “I shoved it in his face and screamed, ‘How about a lit­tle fire, scarecrow!”

Accord­ing to Miller, the scare­crow darted across the street and dis­ap­peared into a nearby corn­field.  No farm­ers have reported miss­ing scare­crows, and Corn­ta­sia police have no sus­pects in cus­tody.  Although they did find a small pile of debris at the sight of the crime, Sgt. Mack Turner could not ver­ify that Miller did indeed scare the straw out of the crim­i­nal scarecrow.

Since her har­row­ing inci­dent, Ms. Miller has been dis­mayed at the lack of sup­port she has received.  “Peo­ple are say­ing that I made all this up,” Miller said.  “Why would I do that?”

“Well, she did have more than her share of Ruby Slip­pers at Last Chance that night,” said Donna Nugent, 26, a bar­maid at Last Chance Tex­aco Bar and Restau­rant.  “I finally had to tell her that we couldn’t serve her, any­more, and she grabbed her purse and stag­gered out in a huff.”

“That girl is a no good tramp,” said Peggy Van Thurber, 53, the organ­ist at the Corn­ta­sia Bap­tist Church.  “She’ll go home with any man–scarecrow, tin man, or even a winged monkey!”

“I think she believes a scare­crow tried to mug her,” said, Judy Gilbreath, 31, a home­maker and fel­low Wiz­ard of Oz enthu­si­ast, like Miller.  “Tracey really gets into reen­act­ing the movie, and some­times she gets a lit­tle too into it.  I mean, the last time I saw her, she told me she was going to legally change her name to Dorothy Gale.”

When asked about Gilbreath’s the­ory, Miller told this reporter that she was return­ing to her par­ents’ house in Sun­flower Hill until the brouhaha died down.  “Some­times, there’s no place like home.”

 Posted by Jef at 6:55 am  Tagged with: , , , , ,

Diet Coke vs. Coke Zero

 Food, Health, Humor, Memory Mondays, Pop Culture  6 Responses »
Jan 162012
 

Diet Coke entered my life when my female friends began order­ing it while we were in col­lege.  I couldn’t help notic­ing that they were try­ing to avoid the sugar in the soda, yet still con­sum­ing the fat in a cheese­burger and fries.

“You don’t under­stand,” they said.  “Every lit­tle bit helps.”

Then I turned 30 and my body began to turn all that sugar in Coca-Cola into fat.  I still remem­ber order­ing my first Diet Coke.  “Ugh, this doesn’t taste any­thing like Coke,” I said.

“But it doesn’t have any sugar in it, so you can drink all the Diet Coke you want,” my friend Joan said.

“Well, what sort of chem­i­cal does it con­tain to give the impres­sion that it’s sweet?”

“Look, you can’t have every­thing!  Which do you pre­fer?  Some­thing that actu­ally tastes like Coke and makes you fat?  Or some­thing that is fizzy and doesn’t quite taste like bar­ium sul­fate that allows you to have a cola and still look fabulous?”

“These are my only two choices?”

Joan arched an eye­brow at me, and I–like many people–learned to like the taste of Diet Coke, because a fizzy water that didn’t kill you on the spot was a lot bet­ter with a ham­burger or pizza than water.

A few years ago, the Coca-Cola Com­pany intro­duced Coke Zero, a low-calorie alter­na­tive to Coca-Cola that has been mar­keted toward males, who asso­ciate the word “diet” with females.  How­ever, I’ve never heard another man chas­tise another man for order­ing a Diet Coke, scream­ing, “Diet Coke?  Man, you are such an emasculated @#%*!”

Any­way, I tried Coke Zero.  To me, it tastes more like Coca-Cola, but is more intense and less smooth than Diet Coke.  How­ever, I observed that most of my friends were still drink­ing Diet Coke as opposed to Coke Zero.

“What’s up with that?” I asked.

“I don’t like Coke Zero,” Joan said.  “It tastes too much like Coke.”

I did a double-take.  “Isn’t that the point, though?  To drink some­thing that actu­ally tastes more like the ‘real thing’?”

“But I’ve been drink­ing Diet Coke for 15 years, and now I’m used to the way it tastes.”  She thought about it for a moment.  “It’s funny, isn’t it?  I used to com­plain about how Diet Coke didn’t taste like real Coke.  Now, they offer Coke Zero, which has the same ben­e­fit of Diet Coke, but tastes more like real Coke, and I don’t like the taste of it.”

“It’s not funny,” I said.  “It’s tragic.”

“True, but I still look fab­u­lous,” she said.

 Posted by Jef at 7:00 am  Tagged with: , , , ,
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