Cult of Jef

One of the rea­sons that I decided to upgrade to the iPhone is the var­i­ous apps that are avail­able, espe­cially the ones that offer ways to be more pro­duc­tive and effi­cient.  That said, I’m amazed at the num­ber of apps that do–well, noth­ing, really.

There are apps that show vir­tual cig­a­rette lighters, that fill the screen of your phone with cyber beer, and one that com­pares how long you can hold your fin­ger against a computer-generated fin­ger­print against other own­ers of the app.

Then again, some use­less apps are just enter­tain­ing, like vir­tual bub­ble wrap.

Today, I thought it would be fun if there was an app that would ran­domly flush a toi­let some­where in Japan when you press a but­ton on the iPhone.  I have no idea where this idea came from, but I can see this elderly Japan­ese lady sweep­ing her house when she hears the toi­let flush by itself.  Her eyes grow big and she freezes, then slowly inches her way toward the bath­room, step by step, and peeks into the toi­let.  She assumes that it was her imag­i­na­tion, so she returns to her sweeping.

The but­ton on Flushzilla (my name for this app) is pressed once more, and the the toi­let flushes again.  This time the lady runs from the house for help.  Soon, the entire pop­u­la­tion of the lit­tle fish­ing vil­lage stands around  the bath­room, peer­ing into the toi­let that seems to have a life of its own, while on the other side of the planet a four-year-old amuses him­self with his mother’s iPhone while she dri­ves toward the gro­cery store.

What kind of use­less app do you think would be fun?