People have flocked to a dumpster behind the Dunk & Slurp Coffee Shop and Donut Emporium to see what some say is the image of Mary Tyler Moore. Skeptics say that the image is rust; faithful fans say that it’s a miracle, capturing the iconic mage of Moore, portraying the character of Mary Richards on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, tossing her Tam o’ Shanter in the air in downtown Minneapolis.
The “miracle” was discovered by Mindy Womack, 28, an down-on-her-luck elbow model and Avon representative, who was dumpster diving for something to eat. “I was wrestling with a rat over an eighth of a chocolate-frosted donut, when I just gave up. I fell back into the filth, sobbing, and prayed to God to give me a sign. Then I heard a voice.”
Reports contradict one another about whether the voice said, “Oh, Rob!” or “Oh, Mr. Grant!” However, the sound caused Womack to glance up and spy the visage of Moore on the dumpster. “As soon as I saw the Virgin Mary, I felt like someone had just turned the world on with a smile–and I knew that I was was going to make it after all.”
When this reporter pointed out that Mary Tyler Moore is not, in fact, a virgin, since she did give birth to a son, Richard, in 1956, Womack responded, “Is there nothing the Virgin Mary can’t do!”
In honor of the miracle, and Moore’s charitable work to raise awareness of diabetes mellitus type 1, the Dunk & Slurp now offers the MTM, a sugar-free donut, for a limited time only, since they will eventually be forced to empty the dumpster with the alleged image of Moore.
Until then, the faithful continue to file by to see the miracle. “When you get up there and look into her eyes, you can just smell the spunk in their air,” said Sofia Consuela Margarita Hernandez, 47, a domestic. Naysayers counter that it’s simply the stink of the garbage.