What the Heck Is a 'Meet-Cute'?

 Essays, Hollywood, Humor, Memory Mondays, Pop Culture, Relationships  2 Responses »
Feb 252013
 

Girl and Boy in Shopping CartWhen­ever I’m intro­duced to cou­ples, I always ask, “How did you meet?”  I’m fas­ci­nated by the ran­dom cir­cum­stances that bring peo­ple together and result in them remain­ing together for years, or even a life­time.  Often, the sto­ries remind me of a “meet-cute,” which is a Hol­ly­wood term for how a cou­ple stum­ble upon each other in an amus­ing or enter­tain­ing way.  It’s also used in romance fiction.

One of our for­mer employ­ees, Chris, stopped by the book­store to say hello on Sat­ur­day.  I remem­ber many a time where Chris and I dis­cussed his desire to meet the girl of his dreams and how the young ladies he went out with always seemed to fall short of his expec­ta­tions.  “Just give it time,” I said.  “When you meet the right girl, you’ll know it.”

““How will I know?” he asked.

I smiled.  “It just hap­pens when you’re not look­ing for it, and usu­ally in an unusual, unex­pected way.”

Chris sighed.  “Any other advice?”

““Yeah, choose some­one you can be friends with, because if you plan to keep her, you want to make sure you can have fun.  Mar­riage is for a very long time.”

On Sat­ur­day, Chris brought a young lady with him to the book­store and intro­duced her as his fiancee, Rachel.  I observed them only for a few min­utes before I decided she was the one for Chris.  What­ever he gave out, she gave back–yet always with a smile.  It was like watch­ing one of those screw­ball, roman­tic come­dies with Cary Grant and Ros­alind Russell.

““So, how did you meet?” I asked.

They cut their toward each other and giggled.

““We met on Black Fri­day,” Rachel began, which is a bit of over­heard dia­logue guar­an­teed to grab my atten­tion.  “I had decided I needed to buy a television.”

““I was in the check­out line behind her and we started talk­ing,” Chris added.

““And then he offered to hold my T.V.–”

““And we exchanged numbers–”

““And he called me a few days later.”

Rachel sighed.  ”“I wasn’t inter­ested in dat­ing any­one, but I thought he’d make a good friend,” she said.  “But after we talked on the phone, I thought, I really like him; I think I’ll date him instead.”

And the rest is history.

Do you have a meet-cute story?  If so, please share in the comments.

 

Foghorn Leghorn Photographed Dining at Chick-Fil-A

 Animals, Food, Gay, Hollywood, Humor, News of the Weird, Parody, Pop Culture, Tall Tale Tuesdays  No Responses »
Sep 252012
 

The National Enquirer pub­lished pho­tos this week of pop­u­lar Looney Toons char­ac­ter Foghorn Leghorn din­ing at a Chick-Fil-A out­side of Louisville, Ken­tucky. Fel­low din­ers expressed shock when the famous Leghorn rooster with a South­ern accent ate two orders of chicken nuggets, while they snapped pho­tographs with their cell phones.

When later asked how it felt to be a pho­tographed as a true chicken can­ni­bal at Chick-Fil-A, Leghorn replied, “That’s a joke, I say, that’s a joke, son. I just went inside for some waf­fle fries.”

Oddly, no one seemed bent out of shape that Leghorn was seen canoodling in a booth near the Chick-Fil-A play­ground with Gun­ther & Cochise, a pair of pec implant-enhanced, heav­ily tat­tooed con­joined twins who have appeared in a series of pop­u­lar Slo­vak gay porn films, most notably, Tit for Tat.

“I think it’s safe to assume that the Amer­i­can peo­ple believe it’s okay for our anthro­po­mor­phic celebri­ties to date Siamese twin, gay porn stars, just as long as they’re not can­ni­bals,” said Peanuts char­ac­ter and celebrity vegan, Pep­per­mint Patty.

What's in a Name?

 Essays, Family, Hollywood, Humor, Kids, Parents, Pop Culture  1 Response »
Jan 302012
 

When I was a teenager, my mother told me that she named me after a boy she once dated who got fresh with her at Dairy Queen, so she shoved a soft serve ice cream cone in his face and walked home.  Although the boy’s pop­u­lar­ity had dropped in her per­sonal Gallup Poll, she still liked the name.  I was shocked.  I thought that the love my par­ents shared had burned brightly from the time they met as fourteen-year-olds at  Church of Christ roller­skat­ing party, when my dad grabbed my mom’s skates and said, “You’re skat­ing with me!”

My father told me that my mother was pulling my leg.  I was named after Jef­frey Hunter, a Hol­ly­wood actor, most famous for play­ing Jesus in King of Kings and Cap­tain Christo­pher Pike in the orig­i­nal Star Trek pilot, “The Cage.”  This befud­dled me, because we were nei­ther an overtly reli­gious fam­ily, nor were we Trekkies.  (How­ever, now I’m get­ting a visual of Jesus with pointed ears …)  Dad clar­i­fied that they weren’t par­tic­u­lar fans of Jef­frey Hunter, but his celebrity made the name pop­u­lar at the time I was born.

My mother told me that my father was in denial on two accounts:

Jeff Chan­dler, nom­i­nated for an Oscar for play­ing Cochise, was the Hol­ly­wood actor who was in vogue at the time–not Jef­frey Hunter.  (This intrigued me, because I always give the name Cochise to host­esses at restau­rants, so there is never any con­fu­sion when I hear “Cochise, party of four.”)

Dad was in denial because she always con­sid­ered the Jeff from high school more of a man because he always bought her a much larger soft serve ice cream cone than my father did.

My father rolled his eye and told me to stand back, before my mother’s nose grew and put out my eye.

I told my friend Kristie about it later.  She sug­gested that we look up what my name meant in a book of baby’s names that her mother kept on their shelves.  “Your name means peace­ful, a divine gift from God.”

““Ugh,” I said.  “That’s so boring.”

““What did you think it would mean?” she asked.

““I don’t know,” I said.  “Maybe ‘He who rocks’ or ‘God’s cool one.’”

““Well, look on the bright side,” she said.  “You can truth­fully tell girls that you are God’s gift to women.”

What’s the story behind your name?

Pedro Almodovar to Direct 'Steel Magnolias in Outer Space'

 Celebrities, Hollywood, Humor, Movies, Parody, Pop Culture, Science Fiction, Tall Tale Tuesdays, Women's Interest  No Responses »
Jan 102012
 

Film­maker Pedro Almod­ovar has signed on with 20th Cen­tury Fox to direct a reboot of Steel Mag­no­lias, star­ing orig­i­nal cast mem­bers Olympia Dukakis, Sally Field, Dar­ryl Han­nah, Shirley MacLaine, Dolly Par­ton, and Julia Roberts.

Hol­ly­wood hopes that Almod­var will be able to pro­duce a movie that will attract mem­bers of the Big Four: males 13–29, females 13–29, males 30-death, and females 30-death.

“Every­one knows that teenage males require spe­cial effects, gore, and top­less actresses, while teenage girls pre­fer angst-fueled teenage vam­pire boys with greasy hair. Older males go to the movies for car chases, naked women, and middle-aged men who try to recap­ture their youth by streak­ing, while older females like to watch older women find them­selves by learn­ing how to make straw­berry pre­serves or love affairs with younger men with long hair,” said Ted Mor­ri­son, a motion mar­ket­ing expert. “Hol­ly­wood believes that a flam­boy­ant gay Spaniard is the one man who can pull them all in.”

With a work­ing title of Steel Mag­no­lias in Outer Space, our favorite ladies from Chin­quapin Parish find them­selves on the other side of the uni­verse when Truvy’s beauty shop is sucked through a worm­hole. Annelle attempts to con­vert the aliens to Chris­tian­ity while doing really good hair. M’Lynn clones Shelby via a locket with her daughter’s hair in it, but suc­ceeds in pro­duc­ing an ever grow­ing Pep­to­bis­mol pink set of lips that suck the life out of any­one who talks about them like they’re not there. Mean­while Ouiser and Clairee attempt to to save the moth­er­ship from the Planet Pig­gly Wig­gly by push­ing it back in orbit with an 18-booster rocket while pro­tect­ing them­selves from the solar flares with a giant sun­hat. Finally, Truvy must do a makeover on a black hole before it sucks the entire planet into a maw so dark that not event high­lights can escape.

The screen­play is writ­ten by Her­mor­pha­dité Jones and Twins, an upcom­ing trans­gen­dered mother and fra­ter­nal boy/girl writ­ing team. When asked where they found their inspi­ra­tion for the story, Jones responded that she just wanted to hear Dukakis and MacLaine refer to them­selves as muther truck­ers. Her daugh­ter assures us that there will be horses in space, and her son says that when the audi­ence sees Julia Roberts explode onscreen, it will blow them away.

A release date for Steel Mag­no­lias in Outer Space has ten­ta­tively been set for July 2013.