The Walking Grateful Dead Toys Debut in Time for Holidays

 80s, Canada, Family, Humor, Kids, Music, Parents, Parody, Pop Culture, Tall Tale Tuesdays, Toys, Zombies  No Responses »
Jul 242012
 

Rhino Enter­tain­ment and Ken­ner Prod­ucts have joined forces to cre­ate a new toy that will appeal to small chil­dren and baby boomers by reimag­in­ing the danc­ing bears from the back of the Grate­ful Dead’s His­tory of the Grate­ful Dead, Vol­ume One (Bear’s Choice) as zom­bies.  Ken­ner, who has pro­duced the pop­u­lar Care Bears, for the past 30 years, will offer a line of ani­ma­tronic, multi-colored, zom­bie bears in time for the hol­i­day sea­son known as the Walk­ing Grate­ful Dead.

The toys will march slowly across the floor, attracted by move­ment, while play­ing Grate­ful Dead songs, with altered lyrics.  For exam­ple, instead of “Uncle John’s Band,” the bears play “Uncle John’s Brain.”  Other revised songs in the Walk­ing Grate­ful Dead set list include:  “Johnny Taste Good,” “Munchin’,“Let Me Bite Your Eyes Away,” and “The Zom­bies Never Stopped.”

So far, prod­uct test­ing has proven the Walk­ing Grate­ful Dead to be a win­ner.  “Tod­dlers just squeal with delight as they run from the lum­ber­ing zom­bie bears,” said Karen Pardeau, Man­ager of Prod­uct Test­ing at Ken­ner.  “And it’s so cute to see them gig­gle when the bears cor­ner them and gnaw on their lit­tle hands and toes.”

Some Dead­heads have expressed dis­dain for the idea.  “I think Jerry Gar­cia would roll over in his grave if he ever saw walk­ing orange teddy bear in ripped tie-dye t-shirt march­ing across the linoleum with a decay­ing veg­gie bur­rito while it played bas­tardized ver­sions of his songs,” said Sky­lark Sun­shine, 57, a real­tor and tarot con­sul­tant in Tus­con, Arizona.

Other fans, seem to be okay with it.  “You know, Tele­tub­bies really creeped me out and they sold well and small chil­dren really seemed to be engaged with them,” said Mindy Mohan, 42, Edi­tor of Toy Chest, an indus­try that reviews and rates edu­ca­tional toys and mater­nity bras.  “How dif­fer­ent are Tele­tub­bies from zom­bie Care Bears?”

Hol­i­day sales will be the true indi­ca­tor of whether Rhino and Ken­ner are onto a hit.  Mean­while, Atkin­son Film-Art of Canada is already pro­duc­ing the toy’s first ani­mated spe­cial for tele­vi­sion, No Place to to Run from the Walk­ing Grate­ful Dead on the Fes­ti­val Cir­cuit.

Top Ten Ways to Know if You've Turned into a Zombie

 Humor, Parody, Pop Culture, Science Fiction, Top Ten Thursdays, Zombies  No Responses »
Feb 022012
 

So often we find our­selves on autopi­lot, going through the motions of life, like a zom­bie.  They say that only sane peo­ple ever ques­tion whether they might be crazy, so per­haps it’s a good idea to ques­tion, now and then, whether one is a zom­bie.  Here are 10 tips to help:

01. You’re not quite the con­ver­sa­tion­al­ist that you used to be.

02. You’ve got a han­ker­ing for a hunk of human brains.

03. Per­sonal hygiene just isn’t as impor­tant as it used to be.

04. Even though you were never inter­ested in jog­ging before, you now feel com­pelled to chase peo­ple until your legs fall off.

05. You miss hang­ing out with your friends.  You just want to meet up with them, find out what’s been going on with them lately, and eat their flesh.

06. You can use your entrails as a scarf.  Sachey, chantey!  Chantey!  Chantey!  Chantey!

07. You can instantly lose 10 lbs. by chew­ing off your arm.

08. Your Chi­huahua has flown the purse.

09. You’re will­ing to share Cher with other zom­bies.  Pass the medulla oblon­gata, but you can keep the wig!  The Bob Mackie gown is deli­cious, though.

10. When you cor­ner a human prey, you fall for the “Hey, is that a piece of brain stuck between your teeth,” so you stop and check, and you do have a piece of brain stuck between your teeth, but let your lunch get away.  Not only are you a zom­bie, but you’re a gullible zom­bie.  Now, the other zom­bies will make fun of you.