Aug 132012
 

When I was twelve George Lucas was God.  I wor­shipped the Force and lived by the Gospel of Star Wars, impa­tiently await­ing the Rap­ture of the sequel.

One Sat­ur­day after­noon, as I left the bar­ber shop, I saw a mass mar­ket paper­back of The Empire Strikes Back in the win­dow of the book­store next door, months before the movie was released.  I begged my father to buy it for me.

I stayed up all night to read the book, only to dis­cover that Han Solo gets the Princess.

How could this be?

In the orig­i­nal movie, Leia gave Luke a kiss for luck.

What an awk­ward moment!

My action fig­ures had been “going together” for the past three years; some­times they parked under my bed and made out in Luke’s landspeeder.

What is an ado­les­cent to do?

Bring me the head of George Lucas!” I com­manded, although I pos­sessed no army of min­ions to carry out my bid­ding.  Instead, I threw a tiny, plas­tic Han Solo in a shoe­box and exiled him to the top shelf of my closet, guilty by complicity.

In time, I learned that the trou­ble with liv­ing in a Uni­verse of Good and Evil, is that there is no place for shades of gray.  With each new year, I became aware that both Luke Sky­walker and Darth Vader live inside all of us.  I also kissed a scoundrel or two.

Even­tu­ally, I par­doned Han Solo and he shacked up with the Princess in the shoe­box, but I never for­gave George Lucas.