Aug 142012
 

After learn­ing that Chick-Fil-A donated money to the Fam­ily Research Coun­cil, an orga­ni­za­tion that falsely links homo­sex­u­al­ity to pedophilia, Jo Jo Gon­za­les found him­self at a fork in the road:  Do I choose LGBT rights?  Or do I choose a deep-fried chicken sand­wich?  Then a thought occurred to him–Why can’t I have both?

Gon­za­les and his boyfriend, Eddie O’Hara, decided to open an alter­na­tive to Chick-Fil-A that sup­ports same-sex mar­riage.  Thus, they have opened their first Cock-a-Grill-a-Do in Decatur, Geor­gia.  “Eddie is Irish, so we had orig­i­nally intended to call it the Bent Cock, which is British slang for gay.  When we tried it out on poten­tial cus­tomers, it stirred in their minds the images of a sex club, not a chicken sand­wich, so we had to rethink our plan.”

The Cock-a-Grill-a-Do expe­ri­ence begins as the cus­tomer walks through the doors of the hot pink barn facade and is greeted by hunky, shirt­less cashiers who eagerly await to take his order.  At the moment, there are only two sand­wich options:  The Dirty Birdy, which is a deep-fried chicken sand­wich, and the Cock-a-Grill-a-Do, which is the grilled chicken alter­na­tive.  The cus­tomer may spec­ify if he wants his sand­wich with spe­cial sauce (with a money shot) or dry (a la safe sex).  Instead of  waf­fle fries, Cock-a-Grill-a-Do offers Chicken Scratch Fries, a lat­ticed potato vari­a­tion with a spicy sea­son­ing.  For dessert, choose from Aunt Earl’s Egg-straordinary Ice­box Pie or Mis­sis­sissy Mud Brownie.  Cock-a-Grill-a-Do turns lemon­ade on its rind with their refresh­ing adult bev­er­age inspired lemon-fey’d.

After plac­ing his order, the cus­tomer can relax by lis­ten­ing to chicken-fried takes on clas­sic disco songs:  “Ring My Neck” instead of “Ring My Bell,” “Let’s All Cluck” instead of “Let’s All Chant,” and “Le Beak” instead of “Le Freak.”  When the food is ready, go-go boys in feath­ered g-strings with elab­o­rate tails slide down a pole from where the kitchen is in the hay loft and deliver the food to the customer’s table.  Cus­tomers are also treated to cock fights on the hour when sexy boys dressed in skimpy chicken-inspired cos­tumes climb into the ring in the cen­ter of a din­ing room for cock fights.

So far, busi­ness has been phe­nom­e­nal, but Gon­za­lez and O’Hara have received crit­i­cism from les­bians who feel that Cock-a-Grill-a-Do caters toward gay men–not women.  “We’re plan­ning to add a hen house in the back of the park­ing lot where we’ll serve organic and veg­e­tar­ian options,” said Gon­za­les, “as well as acoustic music about chickens.”

When asked if they feel Cock-a-Grill-a-Do suc­ceeds in pro­vid­ing a chicken sand­wich in an envi­ron­ment that sup­ports same-sex mar­riage, Gon­za­les and O’Hara look at each other.  “You know, we got so swept up in the fab­u­lous­ness of the idea, that we for­got all about that.”