My biggest regret about Halloween is that I never received an apple with a razor blade in my goodie bag. It’s not that I wanted to end up in the emergency room with my mouth sliced to shreds, I just wanted to be able to say that I was that one-in-a-million kid who just happened to receive “one of those apples.”
Of course, it was probably warnings that parents gave us every October that built up the mystique about these fruits. After all, the unfortunate children were always kids you didn’t know who lived in another city. If Snopes.com had been around back then, they would have been all over that urban legend.
It’s not like my parents should have worried, though. I mean, what kid is going to look in a bag choc full of every type of candy he could imagine and think, Oh, I’d really prefer to have this nutritious apple as opposed to any of this other chocolately, sugary gooeyness.
Still, if I had received an apple with a razor blade in it, I would have wanted to keep it forever. I probably would have shellaced it. I definitely would have taken it to school for show-and-tell, and probably chased girls on the playground with it at recess. I might have even named it and slept with it on my pillow. The 1970s was a much more innocent time, if you forget about Watergate
If I were a kid today, I would sell that sucker on eBay.