Debbie Douglas didn’t expect to start a controversy when she handmade a rebel flag onesie for her daughter who attends Cabbage Patch College, Kissimeecoochee’s premiere preschool, where Douglas also works as a Pre-K teacher in the infant room.
“My daddy died three months before my daughter was born,” Douglas said. “I was trying to think of a way that I could honor him and involve him in Dixiebelle’s life.” Douglas went on to explain that since her father was passionate about Civil War reenactment that she decided to design a onesie with the Battle Flag of the Confederacy.
“As soon as Dixiebelle could sit upright on Daddy’s knee,” Douglas continued, “he would have started teaching her everything he knew about War of Northern Aggression.”
Tiffany Washington, Douglas’s co-teacher, disagrees. She claims that Douglas is trying to intimidate her into quitting her job with the use of a racist symbol. “What’s that baby going to be wearing next? A white hood?”
An unnamed source who agreed to speak with us on the condition of anonymity but sounds a lot like Jenny McGreevey who works across the hall in the toddler room due to her signature lisp, said that the bad blood between Douglas and Washington goes back to an Easter potluck when the two women had a verbal altercation over whether cornbread should be sweet or savory. “Tiffany likes her cornbread kind of sweet, but Debbie believes cornbread should be savory. Neither one would back down and I just knew that hair and hair extensions were going be flying around the teacher’s lounge.”
Since Dixiebelle made her first appearance in the controversial infant bodysuit, other parents have commissioned Douglas to produce rebel flag onesies for their babies, as well.
“I don’t give a damn about history or anything else,” said Angie Bomgardner, a parent with an infant at Cabbage Patch College and designer of a line of upscale tube tops, Stick-Em-Up Chic. “I love to accessorize, and I love the way Junior’s onesie matches the bumper sticker on the back of his daddy’s truck. It is too cute and now Earl doesn’t mind taking Junior with him to the Piggly Wiggly.”
Douglas’ booming onesie business led Washington to take her grievance publicly by contacting the Kissimeecoochee Observer.
Preschool Director Estelle Bachman held a press conference this morning and announced that no more students would be permitted to wear any clothing with any flag imagery unless parents agreed to allow staff to run them up the flagpole. Furthermore, cornbread would be banned from future potlucks at Cabbage Patch College. She also said that if some staff could not work out their differences, they both better pick up employment applications from Wal-Mart.