Chickens from Buffalo, New York marched upon Albany to protest the sell of Buffalo Wings in restaurants throughout New York. Citizens and legislators scurried out of the way as legless chickens on crutches and in wheelchairs stormed the Capitol and demanded that sales of Buffalo wings cease immediately.
“How would you like it if you were just scratching around your yard, searching for tasty bugs to eat, and someone snatched you up to cut off your legs, fry them, coat them with a buttery hot sauce, and then serve them to inebriated Catholic factory workers?” asked Henrietta Cluck. “Stop the insanity!”
“If I have to hear one more liberal bellyaching about shark fin soup with a celery stalk in one hand and a plastic cup of blue cheese dressing in the other, I’m going to peck his eyes out,” said Brewster the Rooster.
Human reactions varied in response to the chicken protest.
“Chickens with legs will hook your children on drugs and make them gay,” said 56-year old, poultry farmer Bob Callahan. “Or worse, turn them into communists.”
“I guess I never really thought about how eating Buffalo wings affected chickens, because I didn’t know any,” said Janet O’Reilly, 27, a paralegal. “But now that I can put a face and name with a drumette, it’s different.”
The chicken contingent plans to continue their roost-in until their demands are met.