So often we find ourselves on autopilot, going through the motions of life, like a zombie. They say that only sane people ever question whether they might be crazy, so perhaps it’s a good idea to question, now and then, whether one is a zombie. Here are 10 tips to help:
01. You’re not quite the conversationalist that you used to be.
02. You’ve got a hankering for a hunk of human brains.
03. Personal hygiene just isn’t as important as it used to be.
04. Even though you were never interested in jogging before, you now feel compelled to chase people until your legs fall off.
05. You miss hanging out with your friends. You just want to meet up with them, find out what’s been going on with them lately, and eat their flesh.
06. You can use your entrails as a scarf. Sachey, chantey! Chantey! Chantey! Chantey!
07. You can instantly lose 10 lbs. by chewing off your arm.
08. Your Chihuahua has flown the purse.
09. You’re willing to share Cher with other zombies. Pass the medulla oblongata, but you can keep the wig! The Bob Mackie gown is delicious, though.
10. When you corner a human prey, you fall for the “Hey, is that a piece of brain stuck between your teeth,” so you stop and check, and you do have a piece of brain stuck between your teeth, but let your lunch get away. Not only are you a zombie, but you’re a gullible zombie. Now, the other zombies will make fun of you.