Booksellers are sometimes far too serious. Here’s a few ways to toy with them the next time you visit your local bookstore:
1. If a bookseller asks if you need any help, reply, “Oh, I’m just browsing; in fact, I can’t even read!”
2. When the bookseller tells you to make yourself at home, remove your clothes and sit in all of the chairs in the store.
3. Ask the bookseller if she has any paper, then rip a page out of a random book, and say, “Never mind, but do you have a pen?”
4. Stash a Kama Sutra in the children’s books.
5. Tell the owner you’d like to stop by and conduct research for a screenplay you’re writing–Snakes in a Bookstore.
6. Ask the owner for donations for your church’s book burning.
7. Ask the bookseller if she has a copy of Illiteracy for Dummies.
8. Draw clothes on all the nudes in the photography books.
9. Read aloud purple prose to your friend at the opposite end of the bookstore during children’s storytime.
10 . Ask the bookseller if the bookstore is a library, and how many books can you check out at one time.
Are you guilty of any of this? Confess in the Comments and be saved!