Kevin Culpepper, 28, a file clerk for the Law Offices of Ditto, Ditto & Ditto, filed a lawsuit against his employer, stating he was unable to work as he suffers from papyrophobia, a fear of paper.
““Whenever I would pick up stacks of documents to file, I became dizzy, experienced shortness of breath, and heart palpitations,” said Culpepper. “I know it sounds silly, but I kept having visions of tripping and tossing the stack in the air, then watching in horror from the ground as hundreds of pieces of paper fell down upon me and slice my body to shreds.”
When Cuplepper spoke to George W. Ditto, Sr., about his condition, he was told he might be better off finding a new career, but Cuplepper claimed his spent his entire inheritance from his father’s steamroller accident on tuition to Ms. Rhoda’s Office Worker School. (He graduated with a diploma in filing.)
““Besides that, I’m a hemophiliac,” Cuplpepper said, “and one I start bleeding, I’m like Old Faithful; I just keep gushing until I pass out.”
Upon hearing of his medical condition, Ditto made an offer to settle out of court. In addition, Ditto, Ditto & Ditto have offered to replace their paper files with electronic copies.
““Kevin has been promoted to our PDF file clerk, and he will file these digital copies into electronic files, making his fear of paper cuts a moot point.
Cuplpepper seemed pleased with the outcome. “I’m touched that Ditto, Ditto & Ditto has offered to work with me instead of putting me out of work.” He joked, “Unfortunately, I also have an irrational fear of the return key on computer keyboards.”
Ditto, Ditto & Ditto did not respond to his joke. Evidently, they didn’t find it very funny.