How to Make Time to Do Things You Enjoy in the New Year
When I was a kid, I once asked my Mom why people made resolutions to do things they didn’t want to do in the new year instead of doing more of the things they wanted to do. She apprised me with a wary look and reminded me that children were to be seen and not heard before throwing back a plastic glass of cheap champagne.
This memory came back to me as I considered how busy 2019 had been for me—especially when I had told friends at the end of 2018 that I planned to slow my roll in the new year. I still have not replied to my friends’ birthday wishes posted to my Facebook page back in September, let alone organized my photos from my vacation to Iceland to share with others.
I don’t watch much television. When I was in my early twenties, the mother of a friend of mine worried that I had no knowledge of which shows were included in the Thursday night lineup for NBC’s Must See TV. I don’t like to sit for long; I like to live my life by doing new things and getting involved. Over time, it’s easy to let things get out of hand.
Elton John once sang that “sorry’ seems to be the hardest word. For me, though, “no” seems to be the culprit. Others and causes I believe in need help, and I find myself raising my hand and opening my mouth to say, “Yes.” Upon further reflection, I wondered if perhaps my problem isn’t saying “no” to others; maybe my challenge is saying “yes” to myself.
This year I have decided that instead of setting resolutions, I am going to focus on doing more things I enjoy doing: reading twelve novels of my choosing, watching classic movies I’ve never seen, listening to my favorite albums with headphones, revisiting favorite restaurants, making plans to spend time with people I haven’t seen in a long time, visiting planetariums, getting lost in corn mazes, and taking day trips with my more curious friends.
Most parents can probably relate to this feeling, especially if they work and their children are involved in extracurricular activities. One minute, you’re getting up a for a night feeding, and the next minute you’re sneaking sips from a can of Red Bull hidden in your purse to stay awake during your eight year old’s soccer game. As responsible adults, we often put our needs behind all others only to find that when we finally have time for ourselves, we’re falling asleep on ourselves. A former coworker once told me she quit her book club because her family kept her so busy that she didn’t have time to read the title of the reading selection let alone any of the pages in the book.
Change is like becoming an Elvis impersonator; it doesn’t happen overnight. One has to learn the lyrics to “Big Hunk o’ Love” and loosen your hips before heading to Vegas. When making time for yourself, you need to start small, maybe stealing five minutes per day. One of my neighbors found stopping into a local bar for a drink was easy to work into her daily schedule, although problematic when it was her turn to drop the kids off at school on her assigned carpool days. Still, you start where you are and work with what you have.
In order to make anything happen in your life, you have to block off that time in your schedule every day. This might mean that you schedule five minutes per day to barricade yourself in the bathroom to indulge yourself with a cupcake and a glass of wine while your children bang on the door. It could mean ordering a pizza for the kids, so your wife can have a night off from cooking, and you can sneak away for an hour to yourself at the gym. Pull out your mobile phone now and schedule five minutes for yourself each day, even if it’s just to hide in your closet and do nothing.
A great way to hold yourself accountable to do more things you enjoy and spend time with your favorite people is to reach out to others and make dates. If you like wearing something other than yoga pants and putting on lipstick occasionally, call up your girlfriends and go to dinner. If you enjoy drinking beer and eating wings, text your buddies about getting together at your favorite sports bar to watch the game. If you want to get more exercise, suggest to your neighbors that you walk together in the evenings. Most importantly, if you think of someone you’ve been meaning to reach out to, call them, email them, or send them a text as soon as you think of them, otherwise you’ll forget about it until another six months has passed.
Of course, you don’t have to leave your loved ones behind to do more of things you enjoy. If you liked going to the drive-in theater with your family as a child, check to see if you have one nearby and share the experience with your kids. If one of your favorite memories from childhood is the summer your best friend taught you how to identify the constellations, plan a family camping trip to somewhere without light pollution, so you can teach your children about the stories shining in the night sky.
Be creative and combine several of these ideas. Organize a progressive dinner party with your neighbors or plan an ice cream social on your front porch with homemade vanilla. Invite several of your friends who don’t know one another well to accompany you on a day trip to a nearby winery, museum, or mountain hike.
Sure, you can go on a diet, start a new workout program, or clean out all of those junk drawers in 2020, but wouldn’t it be more fun to also learn how to make fondu, see a silent movie, or take a pole dancing for Jesus class at the local Baptist church instead?