How to Overcome Comparing Ourselves to Other Writers and Trust Our Unique Voice

My name is Jef … and I am a perfectionist. I have been seriously and consistently writing since September of 2002, and yet I’ve only submitted my work to be published twice. Why? Because I tell myself I can make it better—and then I’ll submit my work. The truth is that I fear I’m a hack, and if I submit my work, it will only confirm what I suspect and others will soon know: I’m no good.

The truth of the matter is I’m a good writer. I understand this when I read my writing. I hear it when I receive feedback from my writing group. It’s been confirmed when I have placed in writing contests. I’ve even had award-winning and bestselling novelists tell me I’m ready and to just get on with it and publish a damn book.

And still I find myself stalling, putting off the revision while I draft a new idea for a short story.

Why?

Because I don’t want to be compared with another writer and judged to come up short.

We are a society that worships comparison. As children, we are compared with our siblings. As students, we are compared to our peers. As potential members of the dating pool, we are compared with every person of our gender on the planet. Before you know it, we start comparing ourselves with others before others can do so because we want to be proactive and please others.

On the way to work, you most likely compare yourself to others numerous times. We compare ourselves to the guy driving the red sports car next to us. We compare ourselves to the super model flashing his or her six percent body fat at us from a billboard. We compare ourselves to the person in the elevator wearing more expensive and flattering clothes. During our first team meeting, we compare ourselves with all of our coworkers who we’re sure make twice as much money as we do because of their education, physical appearance, or connections.

Comparing ourselves with others exhausts us and prevents us from expressing what makes us uniquely us—and trusting ourselves to be ourselves is our greatest asset. It’s as different as interacting with a cashier with extreme social anxiety and a cashier who has never met a stranger.

Two writers can receive an identical writing prompt; however, their stories will be different because they are an extension of their perspective, imagination, experience, personality, and mood. One may compose a tearjerking story while the other writer’s story causes the reader to laugh out loud. No one will ever write your story the way you do, so trust your uniqueness.

If you’re still feeling resistance to trusting yourself, ask family members, friends, or writing group members you trust to share what they enjoy about your writing. It might be a spare prose style, fast pacing, a sense of humor, a gift for a turn of phrase, or a philosophical curiosity. Write these comments down and post them next to where you write, so you can see them.

If there is a writer you admire, consider three qualities of their writing you can implement in your own writing. Don’t copy them; find a way to grow this trait in your own style.

Print out a sample of your writing and sit in your favorite chair with a cup of tea or glass of wine. As you read your piece, say aloud everything positive you that you recognize in your writing. Notice how it makes you feel. When you cup or glass is empty, pick up your pen or take your place at your keyboard and use the momentum to create some of your best work.

The most important reason to trust yourself when it comes to your writing is that it keeps the power within you and in your control instead of giving that power away to others outside ourselves who are unaware of what they possess and how we let them control us.

How can you express your unique voice as a writer? Claim it now in the comments below!